November 29, 2004
You will never leave us even as we say goodbyeWhen D started to talk about staying on the bus and letting her know if anyone is thinking of alighting from the bus, it never occurred to me that it would be her. I only found out from Zie today that we are going to lose a very talented and excellent teacher.
I looked so much forward to working with her in the English Department. She's one great role model and teacher that I know I can definitely learn a lot from. It's indeed my loss.
Two things she said to me, even though it was not within her job to, truly left an impression on me. Even today, when I am tired and demoralised with work (sure, it happens), her encouragement reverberates with comfort.
1. Don't take things too personally. Nobody (the students) is against you. It's not you; it's just that it's your turn.
2. Being firm is really not so much about how far you can push. It's about being consistent in your expectations so that they (the students) know there is no point trying to push their luck.
She's the kind of teacher you don't have to personally work with to respect. Don't know why she decided to leave, doesn't matter anymore too. Asked her about her plans, she said special ed will never leave her. Thank goodness for that!
Byebye, Mee Len. You will be missed in Pathlight.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 16:27
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November 28, 2004
Then he said...That's probably one of the reasons why I seem to intimidate guys and deter them from approaching me. Brian then commented that given my personality and my loving style, I would need a very confident man. Confident that he is all the reasons why I am damn proud of him. Hmm?
But, of course!!!
Oh! Meanwhile...
hands up those of you who will come to the solemnization of Wenn and me in San Fran!
No cheapos invited. We are not going to pay for your air tix.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 18:52
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I just had a little chat with Brian on MSN. *glimpses at my lesson plan not typed out as intended.. feelings of guilt... brushed aside* Before I go for my dinner ...Love & dating...25
I don't know if they know this but I hope they do. I hope the men I have been in a relationship before know that I've been a very proud girlfriend when I was with them (that's the minimal).
Don't take it for granted that a boyfriend is always proud of his girlfriend, neither vice versa. Though personally, I find it strange why some men and some women don't seem to be very proud of who they are with. Brian and I sorta discussed this a bit.
Some people have this mentality towards their partner - 'Well, I'm kinda stuck with him/her. Since we are already an item, just make do lah...' Some people think their partner is 'ok lah.. not that good lah.. but ok lor'.
Not me. I'm a virgo (if that's even relevant). It's not that I have high expectations in a partner. But, the way I see it, this man is my choice. I chose my bf myself. Why shouldn't I be damn proud of him?
The perfectionist streak in virgos is really not so much towards others. But, rather, inwardly perfectionist. My partner must be someone whom I'm really taken with and hence, I would be really proud of. It's not the same as demanding him to be really that perfect (which as Brian pointed out, would lead to pressure for the guy and hence, more problems). It's about expecting myself to see him in the most perfect way possible. It's true. In that way, I'm a real annoying virgo. But, it's also this quality that makes people like me faithful lovers.
Erm, I don't mean to sell myself here. But, this is certainly not the most shameless I can get (Snow will gladly testify to this).
My point is, if you are in love with someone, you fall in love with him over and over again. At the least expected moment, you remember why you fell in love with him. That's what love is all about, isn't it? So many things to discover as you grow together, so many more things to love about each other. So many times of falling in love with each other over and over again. So damn proud of having that.
Ok. Dinner's beckoning. *psst, think the weather has added something romantic in the air I breathe... don't quote me from here. heh
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 18:34
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Branching out from bionicgirl1. 'Mother' is indeed a very beautiful word. In my case, the word encompasses strength, resilience, patience, humor, humility, simplicity, forgiveness, laughter, grace, beauty, thoughts, ability, blur, fried rice, steamed minced pork egg, mee hoon kuey... love... and more.
2. I agree it's harder and harder to make new friends, much less keep them as age adds on. All kinds of relationships take effort to initiate and even more effort to build. In the mad rush between work and other trivial yet important errands of life, honestly, sometimes, I just want to shut away from the rest of my social circle.
I think I'm someone who loves my own company. You think that's silly to assert? Not if you know there are people who really cannot bear the idea of being alone, doing things alone, eating out alone and watching movies alone. In fact, I realised that I need quite a fair amount of personal space. I need to walk down Singapore river, go to one of my favourite part in Singapore, go walk and lose myself in the throngs of shoppers, all by myself, every once in awhile. I need regular break to do something I enjoy on my own - be it visiting a museum, watching a movie, reading and sipping Ice Passion at Coffee Club or just getting lost in Kinokuniya.
But, like I mentioned in my last entry, we are all social animals. We need human interaction. It's hard to make new friends. All because the first step is difficult. Beyond that first step, who knows?
I still try to make that effort though. Especially now that the sch holidays are here. Especially since it's that time of the year - christmas has a magical feel to make people more sociable and generous and genuine. Indeed there is a list of friends I really want to catch up with. I made the first move, for some of them. If there's anything exciting, you will hear it from here. It's already beginning. ^^
3. My pov is that a life once conceived is a life worth living. Even if I know my child is going to have problems living his/her life either cos of disabilities, disorders or other handicaps, I still wouldn't opt for abortion. To me, every life has a destiny. I do not really think that a parent has the right to decide everything for a child. Many highly talented musicians or artists were disabled or needy in certain aspects of their lives. Yet, there was a destiny for every one of them, wasn't there?
I too had a dream once. I dreamt I was pregnant and due to some medical reasons, had to abort my child. I remember I freaked out, both in the dream and after waking up from it. The pain of knowing you are denying a life that has the potential to grow and ultimately, mapping and arriving at its own destiny, is just too much to bear. I was quite shaken by the dream I had. Strange but the pain and hurt lingered on for a while even after I woke up.
I tend to agree with Annie. Everything is only gone when you start to give up. And life should be measured in moments, not milestones.
4. I remember this incident. I was at a shopping mall waiting for some friends to fish out their shopping. This kid came running behind me, behind her own mummy. The Mummy was walking briskly in front. The girl, not more than 4 year old, was running after her own mummy. When she got hold of her Mummy's hand, she asked a question that immediately made me felt upset for her. She asked, 'Mummy, do you love me?'
My instant reaction then was, 'what kind of a mother would have her own child ask that question?' Of course, later when I spoke to Wenn about it, she showed me the other possibility. That is, children these days can be very manipulative. The little girl might be using that as a tactic to demand for some toys that she has been refused. Well, valid.
However, assuming that that was not the case, it really makes me feel chilled to think that a child sees the need to ask if his/her parents love her. Children not only have the need but also have the right to feel loved. I, for one, would be really upset, ashamed and shocked at myself if my child ever ask me that question. How much, really, does it take to be a parent? I don't think I can even come close to answering that question now.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 16:09
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November 27, 2004
Maybe I'm more mysterious than I thoughtxxx
I have to really announce this, even if that means I have only your rings and toe nails to talk to for the rest of the course of our friendship.
Shameless Honey Snow is seeing someone!!!!!!!!
(Annie, he would find it unbearable if I'm not mean to him.)
xxx
Have a good time in reality!
Sometime, around this time last year, I posted an entry about how it's always so intriguing to meet new people and have new friends. I just like to reaffirm this again.
I realise how little of this vast world I have seen and how sheltered I am, in this small red dot. I realise how it's too soon to give up on dreams just cos my given environment stifles them. Yet, I also confirmed that it's important to want what you have too, especially if you can't have what you want.
I'm very intrigued and overwhelmed.
xxx
They call me the low maintenance girl friend
If you have the kind of friend that you feel soooo comfortable with, one you know you can put your trust in, one that listens but also challenges your thinking, one that is extremely honest with you even though they know the truth can hurt, one that occasionally flatters you and expect you to return the favour (haha), one that can laugh at himself when you laugh at him, you will understand the kind of friendship that I have with some of my guy buddies.
Someone made my day today. Someone I call my knight. *wink
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 15:51
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From the papers...23A town in East Germany has new traffic lights - blinking woman, rather than blinking jolly man. Equality of the sexes in traffic systems. Why not? Good shot.
xxx
Volunteer groups have difficulty finding restaurants that will take in leprosy patients as diners. A survey conducted reveals only 2 out of 10 restaurants in Suntec City is willing to admit leprosy patients as diners.
When the leprosy home was at the old buangkok place, where the temple that I went to was, my parents and I would go to the home and give rice, condiments and some angbaos to the patients during Chinese New Year. It's the least to do, wasn't it? I don't know a lot about leprosy but I went to find out a bit from the net after reading the article.
Leprosy is caused by a strain of bacillus, causing deformations of the limbs, skin lesions and possible paralysis. When treated under control, it's not infectious. And most of us have a natural immunity to it. So, like you are less likely to get leprosy through contact with a patient than you are to die from contact with someone having fever and flu (specifically, SARS).
Still, some restaurant owners (ok, just one, from this House of Peranakan Cuisine - real mean boss!) refuse business AND charity cos they either are not informed about the disease or are just afraid that other customers get turned away by these leprosy patients eating at the next table. Which brings me to my next point.
We really need to open our eyes and ears to people who have different needs from us and are different from us. And, then, open our hearts to them (sorry if this sounds like cliche, and isn't it sad that this sounds cliche?). A lot of ostracizing and demeaning behaviour is due to a lack of knowledge and (worse) a lack of motivation to find out about things that we are not comfortable with.
The owner said that they are running a business, and not charity. So, even if he gets paid for bringing them in to dine, he would not accept the deal cos that would affect other diners. My first response was 'What an idiot'.
Just when you think Singapore is such a warm and loving society cos we always managed to hit a new high in those TV charity programmes, think again. If this is the mentality towards people who are different or more needy than us, Singapore sure has a long long long way to go before we even come close to being a gracious society.
xxx
Ever since Singapore had a little plunge in ranking in a recent study of service standard worldwide, service standard here has been the talk on TV, radio and papers. My take?
Action and reaction goes hand in hand. Sure! We get lukewarm, if not cold service in most restaurants here. Some service staff don't even know what they are talking about when you ask them about the menu. On the other hand, we don't seem to appreciate other people a lot too. We complain more than we say 'thank you's. I also learnt from my own work that it's really the minimum to say 'thank you'. It would be much more rewarding to not only give praise but positive feedback. Like, 'Thank you. That was excellent service/help'.
I'm trying to practise it wherever and whenever possible. Give the staff some motivation to put on that smile. It's always the first step that's the hardest to take. But, it's time we surprise ourselves and one another what we can achieve beyond that first step. As for thoroughly bad service, I retain my right to be a bitch. *wink*
xxx
(I purposely left this the last cos as you guys already know, it's my pet subject.)
1. Make Chinese a relevant language. It not only speeds up learning, makes it fun and reduce teacher's workload too. Take an example, many chinese idioms that the current syllabus include are so 'off' that I admit I sometimes tell my tutees to skip learning that simply cos they probably won't get to use that in real life. Ok, maybe they will. But, not at this stage of their life when they are already struggling with simpler words.
2. But relevance is really not just about textbooks. Because relevance constitute of knowing and applying in daily life. What takes up more time in a typical student's life than TV and interactive media? The media has a big part to play because the media forms a large part of the aspect of society where language is utilised. Not me, but most people hear more words out of Zoe Tay's script or news reports than we hear out of our parents' mouth. Yet, the medium that ought to have the best and most vetted form of the language seems to be the bane of most students - the newspaper. Again, I draw from what I learnt from work - Draw big, write small. All the more possible for Chinese language cos it's a iconic/pictorial language. Students freak out when they have to do newspaper cutting. Simply cos the mass of words intimidate them. Worse if they have to explain in their own words what the news is about. The common feeling would be 'but, they already used all the words I know and don't know. How to write in my own words?' It would help so much if they see more big pictures that can tell a story rather than many small pictures that only illustrate one point in the story. There is a reason why children connect so well to Disney cartoons that have lotsa actions and very little dialogue.
3. At the same time, they are encouraged to develop their own thinking skills, imagination and creativity, isn't it? The same picture can be interpreted entirely different between two persons. Language is infused with life. You can't teach language in a monotonous and top-down way.
4. Yes, history and culture is important in teaching and learning a language. But, in Singapore where every group is trying to hold true to their own roots as we adopt more and more of the western ways, it can be a real challenge to make kids understand why it's important to appreciate any particular culture or history. I draw from my own experience. My tutees know roughly how the mid-autumn fsetival came about. But, it's less important to them than say, Chinese New Year. Cos hey, Chinese New Year is public holidays, 2 days somemore! Pragmatic lot, all of them. That is why we have failed in tying history and culture to teaching a language. Children have to understand the purpose of what you are going to teach them before you can begin teaching them.
5. The one problem I always have with regards to education in Singapore is that we always give extrinsic and pragmatic reasons in teaching something. And because it's so pragmatic, it has to be a 'given' rather than 'sharing'. Students have to learn something because of all the pragmatic reasons that are stated by the state. It's like telling a teenager to work hard in Chinese if he is interested in this Taiwanese exchange girl. It's not wrong, I guess. Just that I'm really uncomfortable that education is more and more for the sake of economical value.
Well, the white paper (why white?) is out. We'll see where we go from there.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 13:07
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November 24, 2004
For some Hmmm....Hmm, I'm pretty high today. I don't know why. Maybe it's cos I slept at 10.30pm (I surprised myself in that) yesterday and woke up thoroughly refreshed at 7am today.
Then, got the good news of our boys' PSLE results. And, our training ended an hour earlier than planned.
I think I look radiant today. Actually, I put on blusher. And bit of lilac eyeshadow. But I blew-straight my hair yesterday after washing. And, it's very straight and in place today. And oh, look at my deep red pedicure-d nails...
It's a very good cycle. Looking lovely, therefore, feeling high, therefore looking lovely... and etc.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 18:59
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Tears from the edge IIThose of you who have been acquainted with my house pet rabbit, Beizi, would know that he's been more than a pet to us in the past 9+ years. If he's my brother, he would be in Primary 4 next year.
Beizi is due to leave us in the next few months. We got to put him to sleep the next time we take him to the vet. He's got a blocked tear duct. This means that his tears can't be flushed out of his eye. His right eye has been swollen and there's a cyst growth. There was pus coming out on Monday. He was taken to the vet again. He's too old to have an operation and the vet's advise is to put him to sleep. Actually, that has been his suggestion since a few months ago when we first brought him to see the vet. We wanted to hold it off cos Beizi still could eat, and ran about and still responded sharply upon the scent of chocolates and bananas. Aside from his eyes, everything about him was very healthy.
Jasmine said beizi actually yelped when the vet was squeezing the pus out of his cyst. Have you ever heard a rabbit yelp?
I just told Weiyang I only cry for happy reasons now. Let this be the exception.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 17:45
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Tears from the edgeSo, it's true that you don't know what it's like until you are in it yourself. People say that a teacher's greatest sense of achievement and job reward is in the success of the students. Today, I know what that really means as I tried to blink away tears of joy when the announcement was made.
Early in the morning, we held our breath. The sense of anticipation was distracting as we started on our training in Assertive Discipline. 12noon. Our pioneer batch of PSLE boys passed the exams. 'Oh, my God! Really?' Applause. 'Yay!!!' 'Great job!' 'Congrats!' More applause. And a little celebration with pizzas during lunch.
These are not your typical cream of the crop vying for a place in RI or Hwa Chong. These are just over-aged students who have tried so hard yet failed so many times in mainstream school and had to leave and come to my school. They have the ability, they just didn't have the right environment. This is not a school that has all the latest state-of-the-art tech, equipment or even classroom. This is just a school that is barely a year old, dedicating all resources in transforming the educational journey for her students and give them an equal chance to feel part of the bigger society. We don't have much resources to impress, we only have genuine dedication in wanting to impact lives and then, a whole community.
They qualify to go to a mainstream secondary school. But, they and their parents have, without hesitation, decided to stay in Pathlight. Damn wise choice.
I don't teach them but I know these boys. They would greet or talk to me in the common corridors sometimes or show off their excellent drawings to me telling me every single detail that I would have missed out. I can feel their sense of achievement.
I am very proud of them.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 17:18
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November 22, 2004
Love and dating..24I spoke with Yong yesterday over the phone. He told me something that his friend told him that I think is one of the most 'impactful' things I've heard about loving someone.
'There are so many people you can love but only 1 you can live with for the rest of your life.'
Sounds like common sense? Let me put in the context.
We wonder why some people get married within a year of knowing their spouse. We wonder how can people be so sure that it is this person that he/she loves. We wonder if it will last, if the love will last.
The catch is this. Maybe there is no such thing as love before marriage. If marriage is about marrying someone who will be your partner for the rest of life's journey, then, marriage is really not about love but about marrying someone you can live with for the rest of your life. And, learning to love the person everyday thereafter. So, maybe it's really learning to love someone in the most perfect way, after making the decision to live with him/her for the rest of your life.
It worked, didn't it? It worked for our parents. How many of our parents really knew for sure they love each other before they got married? Most of them were just looking for a partner to share their life with, either because it's expected of them or because they happened to meet someone. Then, they got married and they had us and then, they are still together, loving and appreciating each other more and more as they age. This, as far as I'm concerned, is real love.
Yong mentioned that maybe it's cos we no longer think this way. We think that we must love someone before we marry him/her, that's why the divorce rate is increasing. Because, people take love as a feeling word, an adjective, and not an action word. Love should be an action word.
So, how? I think rather than saying we are getting married cos of 'the right feeling' or 'we love each other', how about saying we are getting married cos we have decided we will learn to love each other for the rest of our lives.
'There are so many people you can love but only 1 you can live with for the rest of your life.'
Much more sense than it seems.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 22:15
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November 21, 2004
Come a little bit closerYou know how many times we brewed exciting ideas for Christmas. To be more specific, to date someone by, or for, Christmas. I even went to the extent of choosing a date for her among her guyz peers, the not too repulsive ones. We had mutual agreements, we had challenges, we nearly gambled on that. Still, none of those grand ideas ever materialised. Chicken shit. Or, she would say, 'I can't even be bothered to try.'
1 month to go before 25th Dec descends. Do we continue our boliao games and make empty bets or not this year, Wenn?
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 19:35
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Deep red toe nails, just so me!xxx
An eternity preserved in loss
We went to Fosters Cafe to check out the possibility of it being a new chill out place. Our second chill out place after FF closed. The live singing was by this gentleman called Joe, with his accoustic guitar. It ended around 11.30pm. We had latte. Wenn said it's 'ok lor', the latte.
She closed her eyes and soon, fell asleep in the arm chair opposite me. I took out my book to read. This is quieter than FF. No crowds, little clapping and air-conned.
She misses Darren's guitar and his sheepish-shy smile. I miss Nuris' powerful voice. Class 95 was playing 'Sway' when I got home.
'Say you'd stay, don't come and go, like you do....'
xxx
Double turn if you get a 6
I think she might have found the man. Only she has yet to know anything about him, and he, she. Maybe if she didn't intimidate him like she did many before him, he would stay for a bit longer. The die is still rolling... let the game go on.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 01:17
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November 20, 2004
I'm getting life back, bit by bit.I have so much more to blog today. But, I'm due for a pedicure session in 50mins time at Suntec. whoa! Followed by a nice buffet dinner with my darling at Shangri-la Sentosa. *grins...
I will be back.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 14:10
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TaxiWatched that with my colleagues yesterday afternoon. Perfect round up to the end of the school term for us! Very, very entertaining! CJ and I were laughing our heads off, going 'oh my gawd! SOO stupid!'
It feels pleasantly strange to watch a movie with my colleagues. Zie was dressed in a bright orange polo-t and jeans, Anne was in the Pathlight polo-t (that's the staff 'uniform' for special occasion like the parents' training session yesterday evening) and capri pants, CJ was in blue shirt and jeans. I was in this blue beach halter neck and printed capri pants. Who would have thought we were all teachers working with autistic children. We looked more like teenagers, like the majority of those who shared the same cinelesiure theater1 with us yesterday afternoon.
We really felt like Cinderella when we had to rush back by 730pm for the training session and change back into our Pathlight polo-t and looked professional while answering some parent's concern about their child's development.
Hadrian asked how is this flick different from the luc besson's version. DUH! I'm sure that's a trick question for me.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 13:56
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November 18, 2004
I think there's only this thing to say before today ends in 45 more mins...HAPPIE BIRTHDAY, SHAOHAO!!!
Hey, handsome! I hope you see (at least, some of) your wishes come true by Christmas! *wink* If not, just try to be good the rest of this year... and wish harder next year. See you soon ok!
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 23:08
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November 14, 2004
E:
Your Beauty liesin Mystery. Captivating, mysterious and alone. You
are the girl in the littleblack number that no one seems to know, the eternal
mystery girl. You make it apoint to never let anyone know more about you than
you want them to and do avery good job of it. You're there one minute and
gone the next leaving them inwonder of who you really are. A mature and normally
calm individual, quiet andenjoy spending many hours of the day on your own,
most likely preferring nightto day . You love the dark and some may find you a
bit strange. You seem to berather distant and cold making hard for people to
get close to you, though youprobably like the distance they usually keep. You
probably wear make-up, butconcentrate more around your eyes than anything.
You know the effect you haveand enjoy keeping people in wonder.
Some ThingsThat Represent You:
Element:Dark, Water Animal: Panther Color:
Black, Maroon, DarkTones Song: In The Shadows by The Rasmus
Expression:Sly Smile
Gemstone:Black Diamond Mythological Creature: Demon,
Vampire Sign:Scorpio Planet: Venus Hair Color: Black Eye Color:Garnet
Quote:"In the shadows for all time."
Where Does Your Beauty Lie? ..::Original Pictures Are Back! Detailed Results::..
brought to you by
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 02:26
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A social lifeI've just been told what I really need in my life. It's not a love life. See above.
Life for the past 2 months or so has been work, tuition, family, personal, weekly whining sessions, in that order. Social life has been limited to Saturday nights and occasional Sunday afternoons. Really not much eh? *smile*
I have to work in the 1st two weeks of the school holidays. But at least, I should be able to get off at 3.30pm punctually. My tutees would have finished their O levels by the end of next week. christmas is coming.
Ya, a social life is within reach. But, I certainly do not mind a love life revolving a bf who can give me more real choices! Ya... why not?
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 01:44
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Daygrinder, High Lifer, Trendster or Dynamo: Which are you?From the papers...22
The above article... total waste of time and money to conduct a research on that. So bloody inaccurate, so bloody stereotyping, so meaningless.
The answer is: None of the above. I'm a non-believer.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 01:37
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November 13, 2004
I can resist anything, but temptation.That was what Wenn said to me long ago. I thought that was one of her most witty quotes and hence, remember it till today.
I took Wenn's opinion very seriously and splurged $120 on a new CD corder for my room. Somehow, after the pedicure package that I signed up for 2 months ago, this splurge sounds mediocre. Anyway, the other choice was to make a new pair of specs to replace the one I have been wearing for ... 3 years. High time to make a new pair. But, I took her opinion very seriously.
As she would agree, there's nothing much you would want to see too clearly in Singapore anyway. *wink
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 23:49
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That's me on TV?Ya. Over and done! YAY~~~!!! My school opening day is today. After many weeks of stress and being in school (at work) from 7.30am to 4.30pm, a few times 6pm, the opening day has come to a close.
Thank goodness nothing totally unexpected happened during the 4 hours that I was put in charge of these 5 hyperactive (clinically, not just figuratively) and autistic (ASD and ADHD can exist together in a child) boys today. Just the usual shouting, pulling, running and waiting as they tried to be funny.
The minister of Edun was here. So was Mdm Ho Ching. So were many many rather important people from the social service realm, so were many many stakeholders of the school. So was the press. That's why I saw a glimpse of myself on TV. haha...
Tuesday, our own school holiday! We definitely earned it. Means much more than the sponsored lunch buffet from Goodwood Park Hotel, tho must say the food's pretty damn good.
It's a long holiday! And an even longer one just around the corner! Suddenly, the world looks brighter.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 23:32
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November 09, 2004
2 Panadols for 50 centsCranky. Me. Moody. Me. Irritable. Me. Stay away. You.
xxx
From the papers...21
Yet another charity show coming to a tube near you... ya, you. I don't watch much TV, much less charity shows.
Listen up. They aim to make it different from the 6 (my gosh! SIX in a year, thus far!) that were staged throughout the earlier part of this year. No lucky draws and no attractive prizes (like The Peak at Duxton condo?Or... a Subaru Impreza?). No death-defying feats by my-msacara-runs-and-you-donate celebrities. Just the beneficiaries themselves pulling stunts this time.
So, we can see all these people with certain disorder or special needs performing stunts for us while we dig into the supersize nachos. If our conscience indeed feels bad, nachos in hand, while the celebrities (they are not performing but they will 'air' their support) hold their breath and remind us for the 286th time the number to call (fyi, min 8 bucks per call for this one), we will find the earpiece being raised up, fingers dialling a now-quite-familiar number.
I'm just curious how much logistic and manpower does it take to organise such charity shows? Couldn't these resources been put to more efficient and effective use to help people who needed help?
Charity shows are becoming a national pasttime. Courtesy campaigns, speak proper English campaigns, charity shows...
Charity shows are not meant to make you feel better after making a few 1800-calls so that you can justifiably ignore the flagday students outside the MRT stations every Saturday. They are supposed to make you feel bad, maybe even ashamed that the most you have done was to make that few 1800-calls.
p.s. Those who do not bother to watch anymore, like me, already feel ashamed enough and need not be reminded of their mediocre lives.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 22:47
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November 07, 2004
Happy 1st Year Anniversary to the baby of my baby...Love & dating...23
I really do not think that by not mentioning your xbf and/or the things you used to do with him is indicative of having moved on. And, definitely, dropping your xbf's name in your conversations with your friends does not mean you still have feelings for him. I just see these two things as entirely separate.
I still litter my xbf's name in the conversations I have with my friends sometimes. I still use him as a point of reference in some discussions regarding matters of the heart with my friends. I do not believe that once you stop talking about someone, you have a better chance to eradicate him from your life.
It's really, not that simple. The fact is, I do not believe that you can eradicate anyone that once mattered so much and formed such a large part of your life. He is not just another passer-by in this long road of life. He and what he used to be had become a part of your biography. It's not fair to want to erase off a part of your history just because the person no longer is in your life.
It's strange and annoying when people tell me to move on and give myself a chance and give someone new a chance when they hear me talking about my xbf. Typically, it would be a concealed roll of the eyes and then, telling me that I deserve better and I need to move on. OR, I just haven't met the right one and I should give others a chance. It's really, really annoying. (haha, now u know, u people are annoying me!)
Sometimes, I think friends should get over your xbf first, rather than yourself.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 21:13
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Soft rock weekendThat's Class 95's theme for this weekend. I love soft rock weekends. I love soft rock music.
xxx
Eradicate him
When someone forms so large a part of who you once were, you do not just eradicate him from your memory. It's ok to dream about him. You are liberated as soon as you wake up not feeling disturbed or affected by the dream.
xxx
Staying on the bus
There will be some new changes in our school structure, focus and curriculum in year 2005. They read out the tentative list of teachers for each different Track. I'm going back to Track 2. YAY! I was expecting to go back to Track 2 (which, mainly, handles older children and is more mainstream curriculum-focused) but still heaved a sigh of relief upon hearing my name being read out for Track 2.
xxx
The taste of new-found love
Weiyang found his gf. A Japanese studying overseas, like him, a Singaporean studying in USA. He sounded soooo contented and so damn proud of his gf. For a minute, I wanted to ban him from using the word 'sweet'. He's a good friend. Now, he's a lucky man. The satay man carries on fanning his satays here in Singapore.
xxx
I want to be the durian scented eraser in your pencil box
What's up with all these Saturday dates, honey? Does that imply Annie and I only have each other for our next GID? You better spill the beans soon.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 20:55
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November 01, 2004
Heartbroken angelsToday's rain felt like the tears of many heartbroken angels. Sometimes, sobbing, sometimes sniffing and other times, bawling. But, never once stopping. Until now. Exhausted crying. The rain has stopped.
Was waiting at the traffic light. This wonderful taxi uncle decided to display his superb 45 degrees swerve. My colleagues and I were laughing when this big splash of rainwater hit us. I was drenched the whole of left side and my skirt and my hair looked like I just stepped out of the swimming pool. What a day!
I think I'm running a slight fever. Shit.